Groped in Japan

Any female that’s been to Japan will tell you they’ve been groped before or at the very least, witnessed a groping or know of someone who experienced it. Me? I experienced it and I’m going to talk all about it today.

Before going to Japan, I was already aware that groping was a problem. I knew and figured there was a chance I might experience it. I also told myself that a “chikan” may leave me untouched considering how modest I’d be dressed: no skirts unless leggings or pants were underneath them, for example. I thought I would be ready but alas, I wasn’t ready.

I started off riding in overly crowded Tokyo trains without ever experiencing a “chikan”. Or did I? I feel that at least in the beginning of my first trip to Japan, I didn’t experience a “chikan” in any of the Tokyo lines.

Interestingly enough, it was in Kansai of all places that I experienced the groping. I can’t recall which train I was on but I know it was some small local JR line. It wasn’t busy enough for people to be pushed into cars by an employee but it was somewhat packed. I didn’t think I was in a place where I could be groped but I got groped! And the worst part of it all was that I didn’t even realize wtf was going on right away.

Someone’s hands was groping me down there. At first, I thought it was just an oopsies on a crowded train. But I realized what was going on once the hand seemed to get more comfortable and bolder. It was no longer light and brief; it was more firm and stationary.

It’s one thing for someone’s hand to brush by on you briefly; it’s another thing for it to be on you for more than a brief moment. (The latter is a sure sign that someone is purposely groping you.)

I know I squirmed and twirled around trying to figure out who this “chikan” was. A man in a beige trenchcoat showed that both of his hands were inside his pockets. Very suspicious if you ask me because of all the people around me, it seemed as though he was the most likely person to have been able to grope me! Plus, it seemed like he was super aware of what had just happened to me. Ugh. The only other person that could have possibly groped me was a young guy in a backpack that didn’t seem to have moved during his whole time near me.

I suppose I can’t blame the guy in the trenchcoat since it really could have been someone else that was the “chikan” but who was it? Did he already sit down when I chose to finally turn around in an attempt to figure out who the “chikan” was? Or did he slyly move elsewhere, pretending to have done nothing wrong, all the while getting off at my somewhat distraught eyes and squirms (my twirling around). Ugh.

I hate to say that this wasn’t the only time I got groped but it was the most “memorable” one for lack of a better word.

This nonsense would not fly in America. And better yet, if a fellow passenger caught sight of the “chikan” doing this in the states, the “chikan” would be in endless doo doo.

Unfortunately, this is Japan where they are lightyears behind when it comes to females’ rights, bystander intervention and the “MeToo” movement, which at the time didn’t yet exist.

When I came back to the states and shared my “chikan” experience to Japanese colleagues, I couldn’t help but to get upset at their inability to believe me. I don’t know what it was all about but it almost seemed as though they couldn’t grasp the concept that I could get groped. Thank goodness I had a travel companion with me that knew it had happened and can validate my experience!

This said, I want to say the following:

It doesn’t matter how you look. If you’re a female, you can be groped. I’m sure males are also at risk of getting groped but the risk is higher for women.

You don’t need to be in a skirt to get groped. You don’t need to be wearing revealing clothing to get groped.

And contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t have to be ridiculously crowded for a “chikan” to grope you. It can happen anytime.

Lastly, you don’t need to be ultra feminine or a “model” to experience groping. I want to emphasize this part because I hated it when my colleagues didn’t believe me. (I don’t know if they couldn’t handle that someone of their ethnicity had groped me or that they couldn’t digest the fact that someone who isn’t an instabaddie got groped, but I didn’t appreciate it. If a guy can get groped, I can get groped. If a young teen can get groped, I can get groped. In other words, whether you want to believe it or not, it can happen to #MeToo and it did happen.)

If groping and “chikans” weren’t a thing in Japan, there wouldn’t be such a thing as an “only female” car on trains during rush hours. Am I saying you should be scared to go on the trains in Japan? No. I’m saying to be mindful and that no matter how alert you are, you might still get groped and if you do, I’ll believe you experienced it even if no one else believes you. Also, here’s a tip from my travel companion who almost got her buttocks groped: wear your backpack low on you while standing on the train so that your buttocks become more difficult for groping opportunities.